


to love and to lose

by LykaiosArcturus



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, F/M, M/M, POV Second Person, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 11:30:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8748937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LykaiosArcturus/pseuds/LykaiosArcturus
Summary: You are the protagonist of this romance plot after all.
  Things don't exactly pan out as expected.





	

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday [@rukiholic](https://twitter.com/rukiholic)
> 
> hope you enjoy!
> 
> slight spoilers i guess for luciel's name

It was the perfect setup, really, the way you came to the school in the middle of the year, introduced as a last minute transfer student because your mother was assigned to a different position in her company. Your father was alright with it, his job allowing him to work from anywhere. It was the perfect setup like from every cliché romantic plot you've read, and to be honest, you absolutely _loved_ it.

Of course it was difficult at first, new faces and new places, all unfamiliar and intimidating. But you made friends fast enough, a little too fast, but it was to be expected with a setup like this.

You are the protagonist of this romance plot after all.

-

Your eyes meet with his across the classroom again, Yoosung smiles at you, but turns away all the same to speak with Saeyoung. Saeyoung’s eyes meet yours as well, at first expressionless, but then a smile. You look away, your cheeks red and your heart beating faster. They were always so nice to you whenever you were with them, gentle with their actions and sweet with their words.

You sigh, a little lovesick but giddy. This is your dream and it’s going according to plan. The shy glances, the hesitant ‘ _hello, good to see you_ ’s shared in the morning, and the touches that made your heart beat faster, you treasured all of it.

“You’re doing it again,” Jaehee says, following your line of vision, her expression grim. “Why don’t you go talk to him?”

You smile shyly at her, and she smiles back. “He seems reliable enough,” she continues, and places her hand over yours, “and you’re good for him,” and she’s still smiling, but it’s different somehow.

You smile at that, shaking your head. You’re too shy to talk to him, whoever ‘him’ might be.

-

It’s only inevitable, of course, that on Valentine ’s Day, things don’t go exactly as planned.

You made chocolates, enough for everyone, but there was a specially made one. You had already decided. You clutch the last package of chocolate to yourself, a blush across your cheeks. You had beautifully wrapped the package that morning, choosing colours that reminded you of him.

Jaehee places her hand on your shoulder, “You can do it.” You huff out a breath, happy with her support, and give a nod. She gives a gentle push to your shoulder, “Go,” she says as she stands in place, “I’ll wait for you here.”

Another nod and you make your way towards him. Earlier that day, you had asked to meet up with him, somewhere quiet and meaningful for the both of you. The weather’s nice, you think, a perfect setup for an ideal confession. Trapped in your musing, you fail to notice where you’re going and take a misstep. You almost fall but catch yourself, except your precious package falls from your arms to slide across the pavement. It stops in front of someone, standing a few ways in front of you.

“You dropped this,” Saeyoung says, picking up the package of chocolates with his usual smile. He walks over to you and words escape you.

 _Perfect_ , you think, as he moves closer, package still in his hand. He holds it delicately, like it’s something precious and to be treasured.

With your hand outstretched, he places it in your grasp. Without thinking about it, you place your other hand over his. He seems surprised by the action and so are you to be honest.  Maybe you were wrong with your decision. You move closer

You open your mouth, ready for the right words for this moment, only to hear a gasp that reminds you of the promise that you’d broken.

“Oh,” Yoosung says, his smile awkward and eyes looking away. He looks anywhere but the two of you, “I thought—” he swallows, “sorry to have interrupted.” And he runs away.

Saeyoung suddenly looks panicked. He drops the package in your hands carelessly and chases after Yoosung. “Wait, Yoosung! It’s not what you think.”

You clutch the forgotten package to your chest  _I’m so selfish_ , you think, as you realize you’d been living your fantasy but completely inconsiderate of their feelings. You’d been leading them on.

You feel a heavy weight settle in your gut.

-

You chase after them, running as fast as you could to keep up.  You end up at a place you’re still unfamiliar with so you try searching for them. You hear their voices and struggling between them.

“I like you,” you hear Saeyoung say, making your heart beat faster. “You know you’re the only one I’ve always liked,” he tells Yoosung.

“I know…” Yoosung says, his voice weak, “But--”

“There’s no but!” He places his hands on Yoosung’s face, “There’s only you, it’s only ever been you.” He presses their foreheads close.

 _Please,_ you beg, _please, please notice me._

Saeyoung breathes in shakily, “I love you.” He’s moving in, their lips so close.

Your breath catches in your throat and your vision starts to blur.

“Don’t look.” Jaehee whispers, sounding a little breathless, while placing her hand over your eyes, “you don’t need to look.”

She holds your other hand, the one still clutching the package with its wrinkled wrapper and melted chocolate, and she leads you away.

-

Away from the situation, away from the two boys you loved, she places her hands on your shoulders. “It’s okay to cry,” she tells you.

You shake your head, “I want them to be happy,” you say, because you liked them, loved them, treasured them. “I should be happy for them but…” You place the package against your face, shielding your eyes. “I loved them,” you cry.

“I know,” she says as she pulls you close.

“I really loved them,” you say again, against her shoulder, your tears wetting her shirt.

“I know,” she says, her embrace your comfort.

This is the type of setup for your romance plot after all.

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by Joshi BL, a compilation of BL one shots written from a bystander's point of view


End file.
